Lutheran humor…

OK, so one thing about us Lutherans…you have to give us some kudos as being somewhat of a humorous lot. So, to celebrate Lutheranism (humorous and not) as well as green jello…I give you the Lutheran Song…

Take it away boys…

 

 

Christmas 2007 – The Family Christmas Letter

I do an annual Christmas Letter and what follows is the latest creation…enjoy…

Christmas 2007 

(A fairy tale of the family told so a 4-year-old could understand…) 

Once upon a time, in the land of merriment and wonder, called familyland, there lived a family of one father, one mother and two lovely children. This is the story of this family…. 

The father of this family was named Larry. Now, Larry was a giant among men – he towered over most people, and usually that would be very frightening, but Larry was a very kind man. He enjoyed being with friends and family. During the past year, Larry still enjoyed spending time counting things at the local school. He counted students. He counted chairs. He even counted teachers. And the teachers didn’t seem to mind all that much. But most importantly, Larry liked to count the number of fish in the lake at the little cabin in the woods (also known as Northern Wisconsin). When the days became really hot in familyland, Larry and his family would be whisked away by a really big bird (airplane) and go to the cabin in the woods and count fish. It was a lovely, magical place. In the evening the deer come out to play with the mosquitoes (blood sucking vermin). Larry also liked to sing about God and help teach people about God at the little church down the lane (freeway). He made many wonderful friends at the little church and his work there was truly a blessing in his life. 

The mother of this family was named Susan. Now, Susan loved to sing to all of the little animals that followed her around the house (the dog, the cat, the infestation of crickets). She would even sing at the little church down the lane. She also worked at the little church and would spend many hours a day making sure that the people who went to church there would have a pleasant time and be able to worship God. She also drank a lot of coffee there too… 

This family also had a beautiful daughter who’s name was Jamie. Jamie turned 9-years-old during the past year, and she loved to sing, dance and make merry in only the way that 9-year-olds can make merry. She was very good in her studies and loved all of her little animal friends that she made (mostly the stuffed ones).  One of her favorite places to visit was right next to the country of familyland. It was an even more magical place called Disneyland. Jamie and all of her family visited this even more magical place in early December when all of the streets were festooned (yeah, look it up) with Christmas decorations and the sound of Christmas was everywhere (not to be confused with the magical place called the mall). Jamie even made a new friend when she received a special gift for her birthday. She was given a special hamster (furry rodent) named Snuggles. Unbeknownst to Jamie, Snuggles was a magical hamster that could grant her three wishes…but that’s another story… 

Finally, in this family was a young boy named David, who dreamed of sailing a pirate ship and seeing the world, as long as he was back home before dark. David turned 4-years-old this year. He loves to play the game of ‘balls of base’ and ‘balls of foot’. His soccer team was so valiant that they defeated all of their opponents on the field of honor (were undefeated). But the thing that he enjoyed doing the most was find ways to annoy his lovely sister. That’s when things in familyland become somewhat less merry…but it was considered only a phase…(yeah, that’s it)… 

So that’s the saga of the happy family in Familyland. And as we end this story, you can almost hear the family say…”Merry Christmas and God bless you this next year!!!” 

The End

First Place is my place!!! (I think…)

A few years ago, I was browsing my friendly neighborhood Christian bookstore trying to talk myself out of spending way too much money on the CDs and really cool books when I came across one titled ‘First Place’ and gave it a look see.

It’s actually a Christian-based healthy-living program that has groups starting in churches around the country….I bought the books…naturally…and let them sit on my bookshelf for a few years…naturally.

Just recently, though, it’s been weighing on my mind (and my scale) that I really need to do something as I go careening into my middle years (ye ol’ mid-life crisis), so I mentioned, in passing of course, the program to my pastor at church and he filed that bit of information in the mental file folder of his of ‘cool stuff that she talks about but never gets around to doing’…until he approached me a few months back with these words…”I think you should really start that program up….there’s a definate need out there for things like this that the church can help out with”…..oh….ok….

So I ordered everything, put the word out…and wouldn’t you know it – I have 10 awesome people in my group that just started last Thursday (including my beloved husband and my wonderful mom) and more are joining up next Thursday.

Now the idea of me leading a group like this is kind of funny as I’m not great leadership material…I’m more like the ‘ok whatever you want to do’….kind of leader rather than the ‘let’s do this and do it now’…kind of leader (which made me a horrible boss in corporate America).

So Thursday was the first meeting, and it went great! Everybody has a real interest in healthy eating, exercise, Bible Study and just plain old balance in their lives! And  everybody was just a lot of fun…my husband, being the only male in the group, may find himself subjected to a lot of ‘girlfriend’ kind of chat, I have a feeling…

So wish me luck and pray for me…I have a bit of pressure on me because, being the leader of this group, I’ll be hard-pressed if someone from church finds me eating half a pizza at a restaurant…gotta be that role model! And, to my mom and hubby, I’ve suddenly become this expert on nutrition when, in reality, I’m learning along with everyone else!!!

Oh, well…this really should be a great time…out 

The perfect beauty of softball

Before I met my current hubby, I was probably one of the most unathletic souls that walked the face of this earth. Of course, after being married to Larry for almost 12 years…well…I probably still am pretty untalented in the sports arena. But Larry's passion is sports…anything sports….and I gamely try to tag along with him.

We courted when we both played on the company's bowling league (yeah, nothing smacks more of romance than the smell of rented bowling shoes and stale beer…).

Larry loves to golf – and, Lord knows, I've tried (and tried….and tried….) but golf just isn't meant for me. I've taken tons of lessons, but for the life of me, I cannot get that stupid little white ball in the air. Thank goodness golf balls are round, as that's the only way I can scoot the stupid thing from the tee to the hole…sigh…I enjoy the scenery of golf, but hate the frustration.

When Larry (finally) proposed to me, we were still in our softball uniforms – dusty, dirty, tired – we are sitting on our sofa and he takes off his baseball cap long enough to get down on one knee (avoiding scraping the carpet with his cleats) and asks me to marry him. Tears were running down both of our dusty faces…sigh…

So now Larry is coach of our church softball team. We are in a leauge of about 8 other churches and we have tons of fun. We've been playing together for over a year now and it's been a blast getting to know these people in this fun environment. And everybody has been very patient with me…yes…I'm the worst player on the team…I think it helps that (1) I'm the coaches wife and (2) it's a church team (so we have to all try to keep our competitive streak in check – and stay humble).

Staying humble has been my mainstay during our time playing softball. Actually, my strength is being able to gauge if a pitch is going to be a ball or strike. A walk has been my usual way to get on base.

Well, a week ago Sunday, we played a team that's pretty good in the leauge. And we were keeping pace with them pretty well. I managed to strike out twice (with players in scoring position, I might add). Bottom of the last inning comes up…we are down by 2…runners on 2nd and 3rd…2 out….and I take strike 3 not swinging….game over, thank you very much for playing. Sigh….

The next day, I go to our local sporting good store, buy me a decent bat – and hit the batting cages until there were blisters of my fingers. I'm determined….really determined…

Well, we had a game last night and I'm ready. I've got my shiny new bat…a little more confident…life is good…one of our youth players put together some music to play while the batters walking up to the plate…you can just feel it….first time up at bat – I walk. Second time up at bat – ground out (but I advanced the runner!). Third time up at bat – I walk again.  Ok, so I didn't hit the dream home run – but I scored two runs and we beat this team 9-7. (And the new bat was used by a few players who hit in the park home runs with it…they like the new bat…)

I really have come to love softball. I still stink at it, but there are just moments that make you think…"did I just do that? Where did that come from?" It really is amazing what a game like softball can do for the human soul – it can make you feel really angry at yourself, but then you pull yourself up by the bootstraps (er..I mean cleats), practice and get better, and then you start to play decently and you get to feel just a tad more confident about yourself. It's a beautiful thing…

…Now, if only I could figure out my golf game….

…oh well…gotta go hit the batting cages….out.

Susan, you’ve survived Holy Week – what are you gonna do now?

…'I'm goin' to Disneyland!'

Yup, last week was one of the craziest weeks where I volunteer. See, I volunteer at my church on a part-time basis, but I've managed to find myself in the position of actually creating the worship services (which is actually a blast and a half). I get to pick the hymns and the flow of our traditional liturgical service and then I also get to figure out the flow of the service in our contemporary offering. It's fun…except during Holy Week…or as I like to call it 'Holy Hell Week'.

Usually I'm a little ahead of the game in prior years, but the interim Pastor we have now is not one for long-range planning (basically, I usually find out on Wednesday what the service on Sunday will be about). This makes for a stressful job on any normal week – throw in the fact that last week we had a service on Thursday, two on Friday, one on Saturday and, oh, three on Easter Sunday – well, let's just say I was ready to spend my Easter Sunday in a drunken stupor somewhere dark. Ok, I over-exagerate there – I'd spend it in a drunken stupor in the dark or in broad daylight…

But…the week is over…from the comments I hear, people enjoyed the worship services…and tomorrow, me and my family are headed off to Disneyland - the Happiest Place on Earth.

My kids are excited – ok, so my daughter is excited – my 2-year-old son just likes to run around screaming like a girl at the top of his lungs "We're goin' to Dizzyland!"

So my postings will continue to be sparse over the next few days. Wish me luck with the family and that I come back home with a little shred of sanity!

…out.