David’s Soccer Team Video

Here’s a video of David’s soccer team from this past fall – his team went undefeated. David’s the tall kid that gives the last two assists in the last two plays of this video – player #9.

…out

Christmas 2007 – The Family Christmas Letter

I do an annual Christmas Letter and what follows is the latest creation…enjoy…

Christmas 2007 

(A fairy tale of the family told so a 4-year-old could understand…) 

Once upon a time, in the land of merriment and wonder, called familyland, there lived a family of one father, one mother and two lovely children. This is the story of this family…. 

The father of this family was named Larry. Now, Larry was a giant among men – he towered over most people, and usually that would be very frightening, but Larry was a very kind man. He enjoyed being with friends and family. During the past year, Larry still enjoyed spending time counting things at the local school. He counted students. He counted chairs. He even counted teachers. And the teachers didn’t seem to mind all that much. But most importantly, Larry liked to count the number of fish in the lake at the little cabin in the woods (also known as Northern Wisconsin). When the days became really hot in familyland, Larry and his family would be whisked away by a really big bird (airplane) and go to the cabin in the woods and count fish. It was a lovely, magical place. In the evening the deer come out to play with the mosquitoes (blood sucking vermin). Larry also liked to sing about God and help teach people about God at the little church down the lane (freeway). He made many wonderful friends at the little church and his work there was truly a blessing in his life. 

The mother of this family was named Susan. Now, Susan loved to sing to all of the little animals that followed her around the house (the dog, the cat, the infestation of crickets). She would even sing at the little church down the lane. She also worked at the little church and would spend many hours a day making sure that the people who went to church there would have a pleasant time and be able to worship God. She also drank a lot of coffee there too… 

This family also had a beautiful daughter who’s name was Jamie. Jamie turned 9-years-old during the past year, and she loved to sing, dance and make merry in only the way that 9-year-olds can make merry. She was very good in her studies and loved all of her little animal friends that she made (mostly the stuffed ones).  One of her favorite places to visit was right next to the country of familyland. It was an even more magical place called Disneyland. Jamie and all of her family visited this even more magical place in early December when all of the streets were festooned (yeah, look it up) with Christmas decorations and the sound of Christmas was everywhere (not to be confused with the magical place called the mall). Jamie even made a new friend when she received a special gift for her birthday. She was given a special hamster (furry rodent) named Snuggles. Unbeknownst to Jamie, Snuggles was a magical hamster that could grant her three wishes…but that’s another story… 

Finally, in this family was a young boy named David, who dreamed of sailing a pirate ship and seeing the world, as long as he was back home before dark. David turned 4-years-old this year. He loves to play the game of ‘balls of base’ and ‘balls of foot’. His soccer team was so valiant that they defeated all of their opponents on the field of honor (were undefeated). But the thing that he enjoyed doing the most was find ways to annoy his lovely sister. That’s when things in familyland become somewhat less merry…but it was considered only a phase…(yeah, that’s it)… 

So that’s the saga of the happy family in Familyland. And as we end this story, you can almost hear the family say…”Merry Christmas and God bless you this next year!!!” 

The End

Happy Birthday?

Well, yesterday was my birthday. I remember looking forward to that day every year as a kid – until I hit about 25. Now I just hear more of my body complaining about having to get up in the morning on that day! I hit the big 45 this year – officially careening into my 50s…sigh…

So for my birthday, I had a special day. Went to church (got to sing with the band which I always enjoy), the service was awesome, had to say goodbye to some very dear friends of mine who were moving that afternoon to Fargo, ND. (Don’t get me started on that one!), went to the Disneyland of outdoor sporting good stores (Bass Pro Shops) with my hubbie (that was my birthday treat from him…don’t get me wrong, it was cool, but a new fishing pole isn’t in my top 5 of things to get overly excited about), got to see my little son become less energetic and spike a nice fever, went home and took my daughter over to a sleepover, then took my little boy to urgent care. Hmmm… Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me…

OK, I’ll stop whining…’cause really, it won’t solve anything. The kicker, though, is having a sick little guy. We’re planning to go on vacation tomorrow (heading to the windy city to catch a Cubs game and then northward to Wisconsin), but I dread travelling with a child that has a fever. We took him last night to urgent care but he didn’t have the recurring ear infection that I thought (or even hoped) it might be. The doc said he had a red throat, but they tested for strep with a negative result….so…..he has some kind of viral thing going…the day before vacation…sigh…

This parenting stuff…all the best laid plans of mice and parents….I guess it teaches you that you can really try to prepare for everything, but when it’s all said and done, you are not in control!

Well, I gotta go…gotta take my little guy’s temperature…

…out 

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity…

(or things to do for the heck of it…) 

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “Inbox.”

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds”

7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with The Prophecy.”

8. Don’t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won!, I won!”

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

19. Tell your children over dinner, “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity…….be a parent!!!!

Sleepover Hell…or How I Spent One Long Summer Night

What was I thinking??? Am I crazy???

With the goal of helping to make this summer somewhat memorable for my daughter, I try to be the ‘fun Mom’ every once in a while. Not all the time…just every once in a while.

See, I have this theory (let’s call it “Azmutt’s theory of children’s expectations”) that if you try to do wonderful and fun things with your kids (things that they absolutely love, but you may not be too thrilled doing all the time – example: going swimming for over an hour in the hot sun outside with no shade, or playing Clue 3 or more times in a row), then your kids will expect you to do wonderful and fun things with them all of the time and will not understand when you finally say “no, Mommy has to do laundry today”, or “no, Mommy has a staff meeting she has to go to today”, then throw the fit and stamp their little feet, cry, pout and call you the dreaded “Mean Mommy” (which, by the way, I’d like some business cards made up with that).

Don’t get me wrong – I love to make my kids happy – but I guess I’m just a pretty selfish person at heart, and would like to enjoy the time as well. I guess that’s my challenge as a Mom - to find fun stuff to do with my children that I’d really enjoy too. Also, I’m convinced that kid’s need to learn how to have fun and not expect it to be handed to them on a silver platter – that’s how they get to be creative souls! I’d much rather have my daughter sing and dance to music on her own, instead of going to a dance class (which, actually, she does…both things that is).

And this ‘fun stuff’ gets really hard here in Arizona during the summer time. It’s 150 degrees outside (ok, maybe it’s only 120), so playing tag, basketball, swimming, bicycling, or any other outside activity gets to be a big drain. So the kids are cooped up in the house during the day.

I remember growing up here and that was just a fact of life – of course when I was young, everything was different. There wasn’t this big push to be the ‘fun parent’ that there is today (also, my mom wasn’t always around ’cause she worked like crazy). Also, I had my big sister to pick on, I had 2 Barbies that I could play with, I read books for hours, and I almost burnt up the kitchen one day (but I digress…)

So, my daughter has this friend that she loves being around. Now this friend has a tendancy to be somewhat combative with my little boy, can be mean to our cats, and is not that polite of a kid (not that many 7 year olds are…) – ok, so I ‘m not a big fan of this child. But my daughter really likes her, and her mom is a good friend.

So we had a sleepover last night.

I think the last straw was when they woke me up at 4 a.m. to kill the cricket that was in my daughter’s room. From what I understood, they’d been up at 3 a.m. reading and talking. They didn’t go to bed until around midnight. I have yet to determine if they went back to sleep after the cricket episode, but they are up eating cereal right now and not falling asleep into it.

So hopefully today will be a quiet day – I’ll get my daughter’s friend back to her mom late this morning – my daughter is going to her Nana’s to play with some kittens that are over there – my son goes to preschool – and once again, I can be selfish again and take a long summer’s nap.

And my daughter….well…she’s spending a week away from her ‘mean Mommy’ starting on Saturday to be with her ‘fun Aunt’. Yup, the older sister I used to torment when I was a kid. My daughter is excited beyond anything you can imagine. That ties back to ‘Azmutt’s theory of children’s expectations’ described above.

…out

My theory has been proven true!!!!

I always thought that something was seriously wrong with me. I see these commercials (ok – always a danger to compare my life to those I see in commercials…but I digress) – and I see these so-with-it moms who have a beautiful home, a sparkling clean house, happy children who don't mouth back at them, who wear size 6 clothes, and hasn't seen a bad hair day in about 5 years – and I am in awe. I know people who are like that in real life too (well…except for the kids talking back to them part) and I just sometimes feel pretty inept as a member of the female species.

But finally….finally…I feel superior to them all!  HA!  I knew it…I knew it…I knew it…

All of these anti-bacterial soap users and anti-bacterial hand cleaner users…."No, Timmy, don't touch that door handle – it's been uuuused!!!!" types – HA! I feel vindicated!

A new study has just come out that proves that rats who live the dirty, stinky life are healthier….yes, healthier….than those rats that live in the cages of places where they…um….yeah….do studies. (Kind of like scientists doing experiments on themselves kind of thing…)

The idea is that it gives some scientific evidence that the increase we've seen in allergies and asthma is due to our obsession on overly clean environments. Living dirty (so to speak) helps build up the body's immune system throughout childhood so that we can fight off pollen, etc. 

See…I could have told these scientists all along – we were meant to run around in dirt – our bodies need us to run around in dirt….

…so much for cleaning the house this week!…out

Mothering 101

OK, so right now is the witching hour for my kids. When both of them come home from school/pre-school and determine that it's fun to beat each other up. This process usually involves hits, being sat on a time or two, screaming and crying (not necessarily in that order).

So my question is this…during times like this, is it ethical and moral to ignore my two children and let them wail away at one another? Or should I step in every time they do this to mediate? Can I justify hiding myself here in the computer room and ignore the noise going on in the other room? Sigh…

Well…I better go…my two year old is trying to shove my 7-year-old into a laundry basket right now…

…out

I need a vacation…

…from my vacation. No kidding…

I went to Disneyland with the family last week and, as of today, I'm still feeling truly wiped! I didn't know that Mickey and the gang could play such havoc with me.

Disneyland was truly one crowded place. I had never seen it so crowded before – and as I was standing in line for something (I forget what, but that's pretty much all I did during the vacation was stand in line), I kept thinking to myself that "this is what hell must be like"…crowded…waiting in a long line…hot…small children to corral…except in hell, you'd never get to get on any of the rides…you'd just stand in line all day long.

Next time I go to 'The Happiest Place on Earth' with the family? Early December…hands down…I give up on spring and summer at the place that Walt built.

One thing, though, that came my way today - we may be headed off to Hawaii in October! Now that is my kind of vacation!

…out

Susan, you’ve survived Holy Week – what are you gonna do now?

…'I'm goin' to Disneyland!'

Yup, last week was one of the craziest weeks where I volunteer. See, I volunteer at my church on a part-time basis, but I've managed to find myself in the position of actually creating the worship services (which is actually a blast and a half). I get to pick the hymns and the flow of our traditional liturgical service and then I also get to figure out the flow of the service in our contemporary offering. It's fun…except during Holy Week…or as I like to call it 'Holy Hell Week'.

Usually I'm a little ahead of the game in prior years, but the interim Pastor we have now is not one for long-range planning (basically, I usually find out on Wednesday what the service on Sunday will be about). This makes for a stressful job on any normal week – throw in the fact that last week we had a service on Thursday, two on Friday, one on Saturday and, oh, three on Easter Sunday – well, let's just say I was ready to spend my Easter Sunday in a drunken stupor somewhere dark. Ok, I over-exagerate there – I'd spend it in a drunken stupor in the dark or in broad daylight…

But…the week is over…from the comments I hear, people enjoyed the worship services…and tomorrow, me and my family are headed off to Disneyland - the Happiest Place on Earth.

My kids are excited – ok, so my daughter is excited – my 2-year-old son just likes to run around screaming like a girl at the top of his lungs "We're goin' to Dizzyland!"

So my postings will continue to be sparse over the next few days. Wish me luck with the family and that I come back home with a little shred of sanity!

…out.

I’m feeling a little better now…

Well…after my previous post, I managed to get my life really organized and put together and I feel so much better about everything that's going on. Yup…I got my car washed.

I am always amazed at the beauty of what a clean car will do for one's psyche. It makes me feel so much better about myself. Is that pathetic or what?

Lord only knows what happens to those folks who don't have cars to clean. Like all those people in China that drive around on bicycles. I mean, do they get the same feeling of bliss when they wash their bikes? Or how about people who actually have to walk from one place to another (I shudder to even think about it). What do they do? Wash their feet?

Maybe we should really think about this car washing thing as a way to improve the world. I swear, most of the problems in this world would go away if people just washed their cars! Shites and Sunnis – wash your cars in a group wash experience – think of the progress towards peace in that part of the world! Palestinians and Israelis! Heck, maybe even the Democrats and Republicans could have a group wash. But then, some yahoo would film it and make some pornographic interpretation of it, and the video would go out like wildfire on the internet. Sigh…

Well, at least I'm happier. My car runs better (yes, it does – less friction when driving). My kids, though, are a little more nervous 'cause I yell at them more about eating in the car. Can't win 'em all.

out.